Lesson 9: Inviting Others (～ませんか・～ましょう)

Invitation Patterns: ～ませんか？ and ～ましょう

Inviting someone politely in Japanese often uses two main patterns: ～ませんか？ and ～ましょう. Both attach to the verb's ます-stem but convey slightly different nuances.

～ませんか？ ("Won't you…?")

This is a common and polite way to invite someone without sounding pushy. It has a soft, optional tone.

Structure: Verb ます-stem + ませんか？ → "Won't you [do something]?"

Examples:

～ましょう ("Let's…")

This is more direct, suggesting that you and the other person do something together. It can sound confident or semi-formal.

Structure: Verb ます-stem + ましょう → "Let's [do something]."

Examples:

Cultural Insight:
In Japanese culture, being indirect is often preferred when making invitations. The ～ませんか？ pattern makes the invitation sound optional and open-ended, giving the other person an easy way to decline if needed. This reflects the Japanese value of consideration for others' feelings and avoiding putting someone in an uncomfortable position.

Casual Variations

In casual speech among friends or family, you can use the plain form variations:

Formal: ～ましょう
Casual: ～(よ)う
Example: 食(た)べましょう → 食(た)べよう
Tabemashou → Tabeyou
"Let's eat." → "Let's eat." (casual)

Formal: ～ませんか？
Casual: ～ない？
Example: 行(い)きませんか？ → 行(い)かない？
Ikimasenka? → Ikanai?
"Shall we go?" → "Wanna go?" (casual)

Usage Note:
If you're uncertain whether someone wants to join, ～ませんか？ is gentler and more appropriate. Use ～ましょう when you're fairly sure they'll agree or when you're taking initiative in a group setting.

Responding to Invitations

Invitations in Japanese often require polite acceptance or gentle refusal. Directly saying "no" can be considered impolite, so here are some ways to respond appropriately.

Accepting Invitations

When you want to accept an invitation, you can use these expressions:

Politely Declining Invitations

When you need to decline, Japanese culture typically avoids direct refusals. These are some common ways to politely decline:

Cultural Note:
In Japanese culture, maintaining harmony is important, so direct rejection is often avoided. When declining an invitation, it's considerate to offer a reason and suggest an alternative if possible. This helps preserve the relationship and shows you value the person despite not being able to accept their invitation.

Example Conversations

Example Conversation 1
A: 映画えいがを見みませんか？
(Eiga o mimasen ka?)
"Won't you watch a movie?"

B: いいですね。行いきましょう！
(Ii desu ne. Ikimashō!)
"That sounds good. Let's go!"

Example Conversation 2
A: 散歩さんぽしませんか？
(Sanpo shimasen ka?)
"Won't you take a walk?"

B: ちょっと今いまは忙いそがしいです。
また今度こんどお願ねがいします。
(Chotto ima wa isogashii desu. Mata kondo onegai shimasu.)
"I'm a bit busy now. Maybe next time, please."

Useful Tip:
The word ちょっと (chotto) is extremely versatile in Japanese and often signals a polite refusal when said with certain intonation or followed by a pause. It literally means "a little" but can function as a gentle way to begin declining something.

て-Form Basics (Brief Introduction)

The て-form is incredibly versatile in Japanese and is used in many grammatical structures. Here is a preview of how it works, especially for connecting actions and making polite suggestions.

Connecting Actions

Use the て-form to chain multiple actions in one sentence, similar to "and" in English.

Note:
This is just a brief introduction to the て-form. We'll cover it in much more detail in the next lesson, including complete conjugation rules for all verb types and its various uses beyond connecting actions.

Polite Suggestions with て-form + ～ましょう

Combine the て-form of one action with ～ましょう on the next verb to suggest a sequence of activities.

Basic て-Form Patterns

The way to create the て-form depends on the verb group:

Group 1 (う-verbs)

Group 2 (る-verbs)

Group 3 (Irregular)

Dictionary Form and Invitations

The dictionary form (plain form) of verbs serves as the base for many Japanese grammatical structures. Let's review how it relates to invitations.

From Dictionary Form to Polite Invitations

To create invitations, you typically start with the dictionary form and convert it to either ～ましょう or ～ませんか forms:

Group 1 (う-verbs)

書かく (to write)

• ます-Form: 書かきます
• Let's Form: 書かきましょう
• Shall we Form: 書かきませんか

飲のむ (to drink)

• ます-Form: 飲のみます
• Let's Form: 飲のみましょう
• Shall we Form: 飲のみませんか

Group 2 (る-verbs)

食たべる (to eat)

• ます-Form: 食たべます
• Let's Form: 食たべましょう
• Shall we Form: 食たべませんか

Group 3 (Irregular)

する (to do)

• ます-Form: します
• Let's Form: しましょう
• Shall we Form: しませんか

来くる (to come)

• ます-Form: 来きます
• Let's Form: 来きましょう
• Shall we Form: 来きませんか

Casual Invitations from Dictionary Form

In casual speech among friends or family, the dictionary form leads to different invitation patterns:

Group 2 (る-verbs)

Group 1 (う-verbs)

Group 3 (Irregular)

Cultural Context:
In Japanese culture, the appropriate level of politeness in invitations depends on your relationship with the listener and the social context. While casual forms are fine among friends, it's safer to use polite forms (～ましょう, ～ませんか) in most other situations, especially with people you don't know well, seniors, or in business settings.

Practice With Combined Forms

Try creating invitations that combine the て-form with ～ましょう to suggest a sequence of activities:

Making Plans: Time and Place

When inviting someone in Japanese, you'll often need to specify when and where to meet. Let's learn how to suggest times and places as part of your invitations.

Specifying Time

To mention time in invitations, use these patterns:

Time Expression: At [time]
Japanese: [time]に
Example: 7時(しちじ)に
Shichiji ni ("At 7 o'clock")

Time Expression: On [day]
Japanese: [day]に
Example: 土曜日(どようび)に
Doyoubi ni ("On Saturday")

Time Expression: Tomorrow
Japanese: 明日(あした)
Example: 明日(あした)
Ashita ("Tomorrow")

Time Expression: Next week
Japanese: 来週(らいしゅう)
Example: 来週(らいしゅう)
Raishuu ("Next week")

Specifying Place

To mention places in invitations, use these patterns:

At [place]

• Japanese: [place]で
• Example: レストランで
• Meaning: at a restaurant

To [place]

• Japanese: [place]に
• Example: 映画館えいがかんに
• Meaning: to the movie theater

Complete Invitation Examples

Asking About Time and Place

You might also need to ask about or confirm time and place:

Cultural Note:
In Japan, punctuality is highly valued. When making plans, it's common to be very specific about the meeting time and place. For formal appointments, arriving 5-10 minutes early is considered appropriate. For social gatherings, being exactly on time is expected.

Putting It All Together: Making and Responding to Invitations

Now let's combine everything we've learned to create natural invitations and responses in Japanese.

Complete Dialogue Example: Weekend Plans

A: 週末しゅうまつ、暇ひまですか？
(Shūmatsu, hima desu ka?)
"Are you free on the weekend?"

B: はい、暇ひまです。何なにかありますか？
(Hai, hima desu. Nanika arimasu ka?)
"Yes, I'm free. Is there something?"

A: 土曜日どようびに新あたらしい映画えいがを見みに行いきませんか？
(Doyōbi ni atarashii eiga o mi ni ikimasen ka?)
"Won't you go to see a new movie on Saturday?"

B: いいですね。何時なんじに会あいましょうか？
(Ii desu ne. Nanji ni aimashō ka?)
"That sounds good. What time shall we meet?"

A: 3時さんじに駅えきで会あいませんか？
(San-ji ni eki de aimasen ka?)
"Won't you meet at the station at 3 o'clock?"

B: はい、3時さんじに駅えきで会あいましょう。
映画えいがのあとで夕食ゆうしょくを食たべませんか？
(Hai, san-ji ni eki de aimashō. Eiga no ato de yūshoku o tabemasen ka?)
"Yes, let's meet at the station at 3. Won't you have dinner after the movie?"

A: いいですね。楽たのしみにしています。
(Ii desu ne. Tanoshimi ni shite imasu.)
"That sounds good. I'm looking forward to it."

Invitation Patterns:

Responses:

Try creating your own dialogues using these patterns and practice both making invitations and responding to them appropriately!

Cultural Note:
In Japanese culture, invitations often include specific activities, times, and places. If details aren't specified, the person might follow up with questions to clarify. It's also common to confirm plans a day before the actual meeting with a quick message. This shows consideration and confirms that the plans are still in place.