What is てほしい?
てほしい is how you say you want someone else to do something. "I want you to help me." "I want him to come." "I want them to be quiet." Anytime the wanting is directed at another person's action, this is the pattern.
It's different from たい, which is only for things you yourself want to do. If you've read about how to say "I want" in Japanese, you've seen がほしい (wanting a thing) and たい (wanting to do something yourself). てほしい fills the third slot: wanting someone else to do something. Our lesson on likes and wants covers all three side by side.
Formation
Take the て-form of a verb and add ほしい. The person you want to do the action is marked with に:
(私は) + Person に + Verb [て-form] + ほしい
| Verb | て-Form | てほしい |
|---|---|---|
| 来る (to come) | きて | きてほしい |
| 手伝う (to help) | 手伝って | 手伝ってほしい |
| 聞く (to listen) | 聞いて | 聞いてほしい |
| 食べる (to eat) | 食べて | 食べてほしい |
Polite: てほしいです. Past: てほしかった (wanted someone to do ~).
Negative: Two Options
There are two ways to go negative, and they mean slightly different things.
Option 1: ないでほしい (I want you NOT to do ~)
Use the ない-form, swap the い for で, then add ほしい:
- 行かないでほしい
I want you not to go - 触らないでほしい
I want you not to touch it
Option 2: てほしくない (I don't want you to do ~)
This negates the wanting itself, not the action:
- 来てほしくない
I don't want you to come
In practice, both are used to express "I'd rather you didn't," but ないでほしい is more direct about the specific action you want stopped.
てほしい vs たい
These two get confused a lot. The key: who is doing the action?
| Pattern | Who acts? | Example |
|---|---|---|
| たい | The speaker | 食べたい = I want to eat |
| てほしい | Someone else | 食べてほしい = I want (you) to eat |
You can't use たい to describe wanting someone else to do something. That's てほしい's job.
Politeness Note
てほしい is fairly direct. Saying あなたに〜てほしい straight to someone's face can feel demanding, like a blunt "I want you to..." In many situations, てもらえませんか (could you do ~ for me?) or てくれない？ (won't you do ~ for me?) is softer and more natural as a request. てほしい works best when talking about what you want rather than asking directly.
That said, among close friends and family, it's perfectly natural to say things like 手伝ってほしいんだけど (I was hoping you could help me...) with んだけど to soften it.
Example Sentences
-
彼に早く来てほしい。 (kare ni hayaku kite hoshii.)
I want him to come early. -
本当のことを言ってほしいんだけど。 (hontou no koto wo itte hoshii n da kedo.)
I want you to tell me the truth. -
静かにしてほしい。 (shizuka ni shite hoshii.)
I want you to be quiet. -
あまり無理しないでほしい。 (amari muri shinaide hoshii.)
I don't want you to overdo it. -
この映画をみんなに見てほしい。 (kono eiga wo minna ni mite hoshii.)
I want everyone to see this movie. -
もう少し待ってほしいです。 (mou sukoshi matte hoshii desu.)
I'd like you to wait a little more. -
誰にも言わないでほしい。 (dare ni mo iwanaide hoshii.)
I want you not to tell anyone. -
子供には自由に育ってほしい。 (kodomo ni wa jiyuu ni sodatte hoshii.)
I want my kids to grow up free.