あげる・くれる・もらう | Giving and Receiving in Japanese

Why Japanese Has Two Words for "Give"

English uses one verb, "give," no matter who gives to whom. Japanese uses two, and picking the wrong one is one of the most noticeable beginner mistakes.

The rule is direction relative to you:

• あげる — giving away from you (I give, or someone gives someone else)
• くれる — giving toward you (someone gives to me or my family)

Then もらう flips the sentence around to the receiver's point of view.

Our lesson on passive and causative forms covers these alongside their て-form versions.

あげる — Giving Away

Giver は/が + Recipient に + Thing を + あげる

• 私(わたし)は父(ちち)にシャツをあげる。(I'll give my father a shirt.)
• 田中(たなか)さんは山田(やまだ)さんに花(はな)をあげた。(Tanaka gave Yamada flowers.)

Use あげる whenever the giving moves away from you — including between two other people.

くれる — Giving To Me

Giver は/が + Recipient に + Thing を + くれる

• 父(ちち)は私(わたし)にシャツをくれる。(My father will give me a shirt.)
• 友達(ともだち)が本(ほん)をくれた。(A friend gave me a book.)

The recipient is almost always 私(わたし) or someone in your circle, so 私(わたし)に is usually dropped as obvious.

You cannot swap them. ×父(ちち)は私(わたし)にシャツをあげる is wrong — the giving comes toward you, so it must be くれる.

もらう — Receiving

Now the receiver is the subject, and the particles reverse:

Recipient は/が + Giver に/から + Thing を + もらう

• 私(わたし)は父(ちち)にシャツをもらう。(I'll receive a shirt from my father.)

Use から rather than に when the giver is an organisation:

• 会社(かいしゃ)からお金(かね)をもらった。(I received money from the company.)

One restriction: the giver in a もらう sentence cannot be 私(わたし). You cannot ask "did you receive it from me?" this way.

くれる or もらう?

Both describe the same event — only the viewpoint differs:

くれる puts a little more warmth on the giver's kindness. もらう is more neutral.

Politeness Levels

These verbs change with social standing:

先生(せんせい)がくださった and 先生(せんせい)にいただいた are what you use for a teacher. やる is for plants and pets — 花(はな)に水(みず)をやる.