Giving Actions Instead of Objects
You already know あげる・くれる・もらう for handing over things. Attach them to a て form and you hand over an action — a favour.
- 本をあげる — give a book
- 本を読んであげる — read a book for someone
The direction rules are identical: あげる moves away from you, くれる comes toward you, もらう flips the viewpoint to the receiver.
The Three Patterns
| Pattern | Who benefits | Example |
|---|---|---|
| てあげる | someone else | 手伝ってあげる (I'll help them) |
| てくれる | you | 手伝ってくれる (they help me) |
| てもらう | you, viewed as receiving | 手伝ってもらう (I get them to help) |
てくれる vs てもらう
Both describe the same favour; only the subject changes:
- 友達が手伝ってくれた。(My friend helped me.)
- 友達に手伝ってもらった。(I had my friend help me.)
くれる puts warmth on the giver's kindness; もらう is more neutral, and hints you asked.
Careful with てあげる
Saying you will do something for someone can sound condescending — as though you are granting them a favour.
- △ 手伝ってあげましょうか。(Shall I help you? — slightly superior)
- ○ 手伝いましょうか。(Shall I help? — neutral and safe)
Drop てあげる when offering help to someone you don't know well. It is fine about third parties: 弟に教えてあげた。
Making Requests
The negative question forms are the everyday way to ask a favour:
| Pattern | Politeness |
|---|---|
| 手伝ってくれない？ | casual |
| 手伝ってくれませんか | polite |
| 手伝ってもらえませんか | politer |
| 手伝っていただけませんか | most polite |
Respectful Versions
- てくださる — the respectful てくれる: 先生が教えてくださいました。
- ていただく — the humble てもらう: 先生に教えていただきました。